Chronicling the follies of religion and superstition, the virtues of skepticism, and the wonders of the real (natural) universe as revealed by science. Plus other interesting and educational stuff.
"Tell people there’s an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure."
“If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed”.
“Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep thoughts can be winnowed from deep nonsense.”
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Dr. Stephen Hawking’s recent statement that the black holes he famously described do not actually exist underscores “the danger inherent in listening to scientists,” Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minnesota) said today.
Rep. Bachmann unleashed a blistering attack on Dr. Hawking, who earlier referred to his mistake on black holes as his “biggest blunder.”
“Actually, Dr. Hawking, our biggest blunder as a society was ever listening to people like you,” said Rep. Bachmann. “If black holes don’t exist, then other things you scientists have been trying to foist on us probably don’t either, like climate change and evolution.”
Rep. Bachmann added that all the students who were forced to learn about black holes in college should now sue Dr. Hawking for a full refund. “Fortunately for me, I did not take any science classes in college,” she said.
Bachmann’s anti-Hawking comments seemed to be gaining traction on Capitol Hill, as seen from the statement by Rep. Lamar Smith (R-Texas), Chairman of the House Science Committee, who said, “Going forward, members of the House Science Committee will do our best to avoid listening to scientists.”
Of course, that is not at all what Hawking is saying. Black holes exists, he has just found reason to rethink their “blackness”; the event horizon might not be as defined as previously thought. With objects as obscure and distant as black holes, we can expect that the science is subject to modification as we are still figure out the details. Climate change and (especially) evolution on the other hand, are far better understood phenomena than black holes.
EDIT: Turns out this is satire. My bad. It’s so hard with Bachmann because she would totally say this.
Rep. Michele [Batshit] Bachmann (R-MN) falsely claimed over the weekend that President Barack Obama was “paying to give arms to terrorists including Al-Qaeda,” which she warned was a signed that “we are in God’s End Times.”
Speaking to the Christian radio show Understanding the Times on Saturday, the Minnesota Republican incorrectly stated that “President Obama waived a ban on arming terrorists in order to allow weapons to go to the Syrian opposition.”
“Your listeners, U.S. taxpayers, are now paying to give arms to terrorists including Al-Qaeda,” she told host Jan Markell.
In fact, the Presidential Determination only allows “the U.S. Government to provide or license, where appropriate, certain non-lethal assistance inside or related to Syria.”
But that didn’t stop Bachmann from declaring that the president’s action was a harbinger of the Second Coming of Christ.
“This happened and as of today the United States is willingly, knowingly, intentionally sending arms to terrorists,” she said. “Now what this says to me, I’m a believer in Jesus Christ, as I look at the End Times scripture, this says to me that the leaf is on the fig tree and we are to understand the signs of the times, which is your ministry, we are to understand where we are in God’s End Times history.”
“Rather than seeing this as a negative, we need to rejoice, Maranatha Come Lord Jesus, His day is at hand,” Bachmann added. “When we see up is down and right is called wrong, when this is happening, we were told this; these days would be as the days of Noah.”
Don’t you love it when your leaders are just aching for the “end times”? I mean, what harm could it do to have people in charge that operate under the presumption that the world is ending? Maybe we’re experiencing the answer to that question right now.
Is she leaving? Please tell me she is leaving.(via tinfoilandtea)
Those poor Swiss.(via vinegarwilliams)
What’s the matter Bachmann? Don’t you love ‘merica??